A brother AND a sister

Yesterday I woke up to this statement from A: “I want a brother and a sister. A brother and a sister, that’s what’s going to make me happy.”

Some snippets from our recent conversations about brothers and sisters:

1.
A: Mommy, how do you make people?
Me: In the mommy’s body there is a little thing called an egg and in the Daddy’s body there is a little thing called a sperm. And then they get mixed together in the mommy’s tummy and make a baby that grows in the mommy’s tummy until it is ready to come out.
A: Mommy, but how do you make REAL people?

2.
A: Mommy, can I have a sister?
Me: Maybe. Maybe we will have another baby but you can’t choose if it’s going to be a boy or a girl.
A: But I don’t want a brother, I want a sister. I already have a brother.
Me: Why do you want a sister?
A: So I can play with her. I want to give her a name. You got N and I got Betsy and I want the sister to be called Amanda.
Me: But what if it’s a boy?
A: We’ll call him Sasha. Hehehe. That’s silly right? I want a sister.

3.
A: Mommy, I’m going to help you get the sister. OK? I’ll go with you to the hospital so you don’t have to be there alone with Daddy. And you will lift me up so I can see all the little cribs and I can choose our baby.
Me: It doesn’t really work that way. You get the baby that was in Mommy’s tummy. That’s your baby.
A: But I want to choose. I want a sister. And then they will open your belly and put the baby in. And that’s how it’s going to be.

So complicated.

Gina!

N is learning a lot of words. We’re also working on potty training. He is learning all about his body. He is concentrating very hard on getting his words right. And figuring it all out. This morning when he was sitting on the potty we had this conversation:

N (pointing to his penis): Gina!
Me: It’s a penis.
N: Mommy gina
Me: Right, mommy has a vagina
A: And me too!
N: Penis. Daddy gina
Me: No, N and Daddy have a penis Mommy and A have a vagina.
N: Penis.

When I changed his diaper he pointed to my breasts and said: “Mommy, gina!”. The boy got this sex differences down.

Four

A is four. FOUR! I’m trying to remember the day she was born and although it’s still pretty vivid in my head it feels eons ago. And she is so big. So grown up. So complex. So much a person.

She has waited for her birthday with moderate amounts of patience for about a month. I think it dawned on her that this is going to be a major turning point when her friend O had his 4th birthday party. We marked her birthday on the kitchen calendar but we repeatedly had this conversation: “Is it my birthday today? Is it my birthday tomorrow?”
A had pointed out the things that she wanted for her birthday at the toy store. Polly pockets and a Groovy Girl (thank goodness it wasn’t more Critters!). And we discussed cake – A Dora cake was immediately vetoed by me and we settled on a flower cake.

Birthday party was a huge success thanks to L who organized the activities, the treats and getting the kids going. I think A had a good time. It looked like her friends did. There were no tears. She couldn’t wait to open her presents and sneaked into the house to open the ones she could find.

After nap she came up to me and handed over her pacifier and said she doesn’t need it anymore. That it’s time to give it to Peggy (our designated baby beneficiary). L and I were pleasantly shocked that she just handed it over with no fanfare. We did talk about it for a while, but didn’t really know how it would all come to be. And now it’s gone. And A is four and she doesn’t need (or ask for it) anymore.

And A is amazing. She drives me crazy, but she is truly wonderful. She has grown so much in the past few months. And things just suddenly happen. She draws people with fingers and feet and hair and clothes. And she colors things. And she LOVES to draw. And she can count – really count things, not just say the words. And she is picking up writing. And she can jump, and climb ladders and twirl. And do somersaults. And she asks so many complicated questions I need to think hard about. And she gets all wound up in her emotions and surviving those tantrums without losing it myself is SO HARD. But she is my wonderful girl. My lovely A.

Barack Obama

A’s school is obviously doing a better job than we are in educating her to be a good citizen. On inauguration day they had the kids sit and watch the whole thing on TV. A now totally knows who Barack Obama is (I figure she had plenty of time to study his face during that hours). She recognizes him when she sees his face in the newspaper or on the internet. Her curiosity slightly peaked when I said that we are going to see an exhibit with a picture of Obama. A promise of a sea monster exhibit was what got her going, though. Once at the museum she immediately recognized Obama in Shepard Fairey’s image of “HOPE”.
She is living in extraordinary times.

Boon

One of N’s favorite things are balloons, aka “boons”. He likes them with air in them, but preferably straight up in their original 20 party balloon bag from CVS. He is now attached to a powder blue balloon in a tattered plastic bag. When he gets tired he starts saying “boon, boon, boon” and is reassured when we tell him it is waiting for him in his crib. Now, if this balloon would make him sleep through the night and/or not wake up crying at 5:30 am I might go out and stock up on balloons. Then again, we might just need to do it anyway.

De-brothering

A is not so in love with her brother. Maybe because he’s been driving us crazy climbing all over the place, biting, just being restless.
A couple of weeks ago she said: “N is not a good baby. He needs to go back to the Hospital”. Mind you, the kid has been around for 15 months.

Today she said: “I’m going to take N and flush him down the toilet. And then we will only be three. Mommy and Daddy and A. And then Ruben (the plumber) will come and get N out of the toilet. And he’ll be all wet. And we’ll dry him up and then I’ll flush him down the drain again. And he won’t come back for ever and ever and ever.”

Time for some positive bro speak.

Mama

N now calls me Mama. In an Italian accent. He calls L Mama as well. And any other human figure too.

Today I was not around for dinner and bath and L told me that N walked around the house with a picture of me crying Mama, Mama, Mama.

New developments

N’s new things:

- peeing and pooping in th potty when we put him on it
- “washing dishes”
- More words: boo (book), bana (banana)
- Signs: Hi, bye, draw

He’s a cute cuddly thing!

Empathy

We have all been sick for the past week. It truely sucks. I was feeling really crummy and was sitting at the table coughing. A said: “Mommy, I will help you. When I get bigger. I will help you feel better. OK? Not right now, because I am not big enough. Maybe when I’m bigger. A teenager? OK?”

And now when we put her to sleep she says: “Mommy, I love you. And Daddy. And Noam too. And I miss you and Daddy. I love you, good night, I’ll see you in the morning”.

My heart melts.

Conversations

Recent conversations with A:

A: “Thank you mommy bear for making me dinner”
Me: “You’re welcome baby bear”
A: “I’m not a bear, I’m a horse!”

Me: “How many people do we have in our family?”
A: “You’re one, and Noam is two and I’m three and Daddy is sixteen!”
The following day..
“I’m three, and you’re one and Noam is sixteen and Daddy is two”