A brother AND a sister

Yesterday I woke up to this statement from A: “I want a brother and a sister. A brother and a sister, that’s what’s going to make me happy.”

Some snippets from our recent conversations about brothers and sisters:

1.
A: Mommy, how do you make people?
Me: In the mommy’s body there is a little thing called an egg and in the Daddy’s body there is a little thing called a sperm. And then they get mixed together in the mommy’s tummy and make a baby that grows in the mommy’s tummy until it is ready to come out.
A: Mommy, but how do you make REAL people?

2.
A: Mommy, can I have a sister?
Me: Maybe. Maybe we will have another baby but you can’t choose if it’s going to be a boy or a girl.
A: But I don’t want a brother, I want a sister. I already have a brother.
Me: Why do you want a sister?
A: So I can play with her. I want to give her a name. You got N and I got Betsy and I want the sister to be called Amanda.
Me: But what if it’s a boy?
A: We’ll call him Sasha. Hehehe. That’s silly right? I want a sister.

3.
A: Mommy, I’m going to help you get the sister. OK? I’ll go with you to the hospital so you don’t have to be there alone with Daddy. And you will lift me up so I can see all the little cribs and I can choose our baby.
Me: It doesn’t really work that way. You get the baby that was in Mommy’s tummy. That’s your baby.
A: But I want to choose. I want a sister. And then they will open your belly and put the baby in. And that’s how it’s going to be.

So complicated.

Four

A is four. FOUR! I’m trying to remember the day she was born and although it’s still pretty vivid in my head it feels eons ago. And she is so big. So grown up. So complex. So much a person.

She has waited for her birthday with moderate amounts of patience for about a month. I think it dawned on her that this is going to be a major turning point when her friend O had his 4th birthday party. We marked her birthday on the kitchen calendar but we repeatedly had this conversation: “Is it my birthday today? Is it my birthday tomorrow?”
A had pointed out the things that she wanted for her birthday at the toy store. Polly pockets and a Groovy Girl (thank goodness it wasn’t more Critters!). And we discussed cake – A Dora cake was immediately vetoed by me and we settled on a flower cake.

Birthday party was a huge success thanks to L who organized the activities, the treats and getting the kids going. I think A had a good time. It looked like her friends did. There were no tears. She couldn’t wait to open her presents and sneaked into the house to open the ones she could find.

After nap she came up to me and handed over her pacifier and said she doesn’t need it anymore. That it’s time to give it to Peggy (our designated baby beneficiary). L and I were pleasantly shocked that she just handed it over with no fanfare. We did talk about it for a while, but didn’t really know how it would all come to be. And now it’s gone. And A is four and she doesn’t need (or ask for it) anymore.

And A is amazing. She drives me crazy, but she is truly wonderful. She has grown so much in the past few months. And things just suddenly happen. She draws people with fingers and feet and hair and clothes. And she colors things. And she LOVES to draw. And she can count – really count things, not just say the words. And she is picking up writing. And she can jump, and climb ladders and twirl. And do somersaults. And she asks so many complicated questions I need to think hard about. And she gets all wound up in her emotions and surviving those tantrums without losing it myself is SO HARD. But she is my wonderful girl. My lovely A.

Empathy

We have all been sick for the past week. It truely sucks. I was feeling really crummy and was sitting at the table coughing. A said: “Mommy, I will help you. When I get bigger. I will help you feel better. OK? Not right now, because I am not big enough. Maybe when I’m bigger. A teenager? OK?”

And now when we put her to sleep she says: “Mommy, I love you. And Daddy. And Noam too. And I miss you and Daddy. I love you, good night, I’ll see you in the morning”.

My heart melts.

I miss you

A said: “I miss you when I cry and I miss Daddy when I laugh”.
OK, so this explains why I always get the tears.

Hugs

This morning L and I were hugging and kissing before I went out for work. A watched us curiously, then with embarrassment. She said: “What are you doing? Big people don’t need to hug!”

Sharing

I was talking to a mom at the Tot-Lot who was telling me that she heard a psychologist talking on NPR about the fact that children don’t understand the concept of sharing until they are at least 7 years old. My experience so far is that this is an emerging concept. At 3, A seems to think that it means: “what’s yours can be mine”. At the zoo she told her friend M: “We’re big girls now, we need to learn to share” (A wanted M to let her press some buttons in the exhibit). Today, when I put on some jewelry she said: “Mommy, when I get older you’ll let me wear the necklace. You need to share, OK mommy?”

First day of Preschool

Yesterday was A’s first day of preschool. She was pretty excited the night before and it took her a long time to fall asleep. In the morning we packed her cool doggy lunchbox (we somehow managed to avoid getting a Spiderman one) and off we went. In A’s classroom we search for the purple dinosaur, saw all the kids say goodbye to their parents and then it was time for mommy to go. There were some tears, but half and hour later when L called the school all was well. L said that A was really happy when he came to pick her up. She had a good day.

After school the director emailed with some formalities. The first sentence of her email read: “she is an amazing child!”. She is.

Solo

Last night L went out to gallery openings and I put the kids to sleep on my own. First time in more than 10 months. Wow. Wasn’t too bad at all. Next step is finding someone else to put them to sleep.

Talking

I’m pretty sure that N is saying words. He says “Aba” when he sees L in the morning. He also says “ba-ba” for a sheep and can point to one on a page full of other images.

He also says “ba” about almost anything and A is quick to tell him: “It’s not Daddy, it’s Mommy!”

I think he’s also signing – today he made the sign for “all done” twice. Maybe we should teach him the sign for “sleep”.

L’s birthday

It was L’s birthday earlier this week. A has been preparing for a while. She decided that L’s present is going to be a smiley face ball she found at the Tot-Lot. She spent several days wrapping up the present. She used about half a roll of scotch-tape.

The day before L’s birthday I took A on errands. We were discussing cake (I was planning to go to a bakery to get some cake in lieu of actually baking a cake). A asked if we could go to Costco (because that’s where we got her cake, although I have no idea how she knows this). We went to Trader Joe’s. A spotted some muffins in one of the isles and said that we should get these “cupcakes” for L. They were of the whole wheat, organic, fruit sweetened variety. I tried to dissuade her, but no dice. It’s good one of my favorite local bakeries was open on labor day. I got a heavenly peanut butter and chocolate mousse cake.

A was also very good about keeping the whole thing a secret, although at some point she said: “Daddy, I’m not telling you that K & B & M are coming….” When I shushed her and whispered in her ear she said “Mommy, talk regular it’s not night now”. Ah, yes.

The cupcakes weren’t that bad after all.